


Go to Sleep

by Queerasil



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, POV Sherlock, Voyeurism, falling asleep, first person present tense, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:52:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerasil/pseuds/Queerasil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> An insomniac Sherlock slowly realizes he’s falling in love with John as he falls asleep. <i></i></i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

An insomniac Sherlock slowly realizes he’s falling in love with John as he falls asleep. 

…

Sleep: tedious. ‘Go to sleep,’ John says, as if it’s that easy. As if. As if anything were that easy. If sleep were that easy, I’d never wake up. 

No, don’t say that. John wouldn’t like it if you said that. John cares; he means well, but he doesn’t know. 

It’s not his fault that I don’t tell him.

The ceiling: white, (halfway between eggshell and cream, to be more specific); plaster; little speckles that get bigger the longer you stare at them; expanding like some odd kind of supernova.

Supernova. Painting. Bomb. Pool. John.

‘Got to sleep.’ 

I try. God, do I try. 

Onto the bed: Wood: mahogany: well-aged, varnished, deep-brown, lines in the wood spiral and twist around into patterns; thread count: 38, much too low; sheets: white, (cream), soft, light, boring. 

Boring, boring, boring.

Sleep is simple; it’s just falling, and there’s nothing complex about falling; people fall every day. They fall when they trip, and they fall out of taxis and down steps, and they fall asleep, and they fall in –

In love. People fall in love. 

People.

‘That’s what people do.’

That’s one of the better things people do.

Good job I’m not people. Otherwise, this whole business with John would be much more complicated. 

Anyway. How do people normally get to sleep? Ah, yes. That’s right: counting sheep, because sheep are so incredibly interesting. How do normal people get by every day?

Suppose they have other things. I don’t know what, but other things. They have to have some reason to live; otherwise, they would’ve all just popped off by now. 

Wonder what John’s doing right now. Sleeping, probably. Boring. Would have any objection to me playing my violin? Probably. Dull. Uh…

Hope he’s not having a nightmare. He’s probably having a dream about kittens or something. 

Back to the ceiling: there’s the outline of a –

There’s a thump upstairs: faint; the sound of John turning over. Hope he’s not having a nightmare. 

Now –

Another thump: louder; either John’s having a nightmare or he’s getting out of bed; probably to come check on –

Ah, there he is; trying to open the door slowly to see if I won’t notice. God, he’s like a child spying on Santa during Christmas. Adorable –

No. NO. It’s not. 

Go to sleep. 

Creaking floorboards give him away; he’s stepping back now. Yes, John, of course I’m sleeping. 

I wish.

Now back to the ceiling: It –

Another thump? Aren’t you done yet? Can’t you just go… to sleep.

‘I could ask you the same question.’

Thanks, John in my head; you’re being so tremendously helpful. 

If I wanted to go to sleep, I would; I’m in control of my body. Perfect. Control.

Accept there’s no such thing as perfection…

Or control.

Another thump; several possible explanations: he’s in pain, he’s having a nightmare, he’s mas—

NO. NO. NO. We are not going there. That’s no appropriate.

But what if he –

That is none of your business.

Back to –

Thump.

AH! 

So what if he’s masturbating? Why should that bother you? John’s human; he does human things. 

Why is my heart beating so fast?

‘Sex doesn’t alarm me.’

Yes it does, you liar. 

Better himself than with someone else, I suppose.

No. NO. No, Sherlock. Stop. John is your…

Flatmate?

Colleague? 

Doctor?

Friend.

Yeah, let’s go with that.

Back –

Two thumps in rapid succession: either he’s tap-dancing or masturbating, Sherlock – take your pick.

Honestly don’t know which alarms me more. 

Maybe I should re-arrange my sock index?

No; John will just mess it up again. 

Not that that would bother me.

But only if it’s John doing the messing up.

Now can I please –

Five thumps in rapid succession: dancing or the world’s noisiest masturbator. 

This is ridiculous; I shouldn’t –

THUMP. 

I am never getting to sleep. 

I shouldn’t be listening to this. 

Thump.

I mean, it’s private.

Thump.

John must know I can hear; I hear everything; he knows that.

Thump.

Maybe he doesn’t care.

Thump.

Why would he care?

‘I’m not gay.’

Sure you’re not. I’m not either.

Yeah, we’re both so totally straight. 

Obviously.

Thump.

Let’s examine the evidence; the clues are all right there: We live together, we eat together, we work together, we’re completely obsessed with each other – we’d give our lives for each other.

Yep.

I am completely in love with John Watson.

 

 

Thump


End file.
